fuck a truckload of today so far

Doorbells make me want to die.
Every time.
Terror of the everyday,
Broken parts
sounding
klaxon, catastrophe
Terror Dreams of doing
needing seeing believing
impossible pangs
quite possible pains.

it drains
destroys
dismembers
but always, always remembers
me. remembers me.
dying quiet
take me away
a nest built in lavender
and passiflora.
musty roots remember,
vegetal glory
cold days underground
without a sound above
the sifting settling voice of earth
a dearth, a dearth, a beautiful dearth.