frozen treats and selfloathing

   I forgot the popsicles

like fuck me

          seriously

                   godamnit

it feels so important. to me. to me.

goddamnit the popsicles

popsicles and cartoons,

cartoons with magical girls

in high school

I had peripherally the world

of teenage girls

close friends, intimate

but distant

still waiting behind

violence and silence and rage

still waiting

so

anyway

the only pleasure, now

popsicles and cartoons and

I killed half of it, anxious in the store

I'll.

I'll never know if I forgot or saw it but unsaw it and cut popsicle sized hole in my own heart I'm being dramatic. oh fuck don't let's start

tears and tight jaws

  tears in tight smiles I don't believe

so why should you.

I imagine you don't,

but I couldn't know ||

Me? no man, and no girl, but rather,

a tensioning machine

corroding data,

                 directives.

suspected chemical habitual

habitual such

  pitiful machine

I forgot the fucking popsicles, she motherfucking screamed...

||maybe it's about something else?