vision blurs like glass tiles
in opulent office spaces 20 years ago
eyes thrumming to a staccato beat
pencil necked geek from some
record I don't remember
this is how I fall apart
I imagined it would be like coming home
sliding into sleep
But not asphyxiation
It wasn't even sexy
I can't get the pencil to fit
broke the lead
Two scars like track marks all it bought me...
Memories hollow hope, nihilistic zen behind bars
Bend Bend Bend
This is how I fall apart
A dress not that dainty
A wife not that dainty
A life not that dainty
Hate sits in the living room.
Hate needs to see the news,
at one at five and two.
Hate stares through me with dead eyes.
I was riding out the wrong side of a mediocre high.
Pain is mine.
Personal property, like a medical bracelet.
Always close, an epipen.
Something unlikely in case of overdose.
In a dress.
This is how I fall apart.
Slide down, the bell curve and sigh
Wrong end of a one way line
Riding on ghosts of embers of wisps of smoke
Wrong side of today.
Wish I was high rather than alive.